You Only Live Twice
by No Satisfaction
Summary: Originally 'That Forgotten Chapter'. No Summary here, just have to read to find out. Suppose to be confusing, but everything will come together. Ending REDONE
1. Chapter 1

**Alive?**

Sly Cooper, famous world wide master thief was perched in a ninja spire stance, waiting for Carmelita to come. Its' been a long time since he had claimed he last saw her. _'How long ago was it? Well if it is that long ago then we have some catching up to do!'_ He had the perfect bait to attract Carmelita. A rare jade egg. Suddenly a shock bullet passed by.

"Alright you Cooper wanna be! Hand's UP!"

"Why Inspector Fox, I figured you'd come," Sly said, hopping out of the shadows and onto solid, well lit ground.

"Wha? COOPER!" Inspector Fox was flabbergasted. "But-but how?"

"Uh, Carmelita, are you all right?" Sly said, he was a little worried.

"Just forget about her, RUN SLY RUN!" Bentley yelled over the binocucom.

"This is some trick isn't it?" Carmelita said, pointing her gun once again at Sly. "There is NO way that you could be alive!"

"WHAT!" Sly screeched. "WHAT DO YOU MEEN I CAN'T BE ALIVE?"

'Uh-Oh' Bentley blurted out over the binocucom.


	2. What is Happening?

**What is Happening?**

Carmelita just collapsed onto the rooftop, the fire that made her so attractive to Sly going out. Sly, confused at all this just left and went to the safe house. He then remembered that 'uh-oh' Bentley blurted out. He has something to do with this.

He walked in through the door, passing Murray, who was in his racing jump suit and was munching on a chilidog, _'Oh God not a chilidog! Doesn't he remember what happened the last time he had a chilidog?'_ and then passed Penelope, who was working on a new surveillance RC chopper with a silenced engine. Sly instead went straight for Bentley, who was typing away on his laptop.

"What the hell happened?" Sly said. "Why do I have the impression that I'm supposed to be six feet down?"

"Sly, I don't know what to say," Bentley shrugged; he had a bead of sweat coming down his forehead. "I told you before, the past year you were on vacation and when you returned someone knocked you inthe back of your head and had selective amnesia."

"Leave Bent alone Sly," Murray said coming in; chili smudged around his mouth.

"Oh god Murray!" Bentley yelped. "Did you have to buy a chilidog, don't you remember what happened last time?"

"Relax, I took some Pepto-Bismol."

"What happened?" Penelope asked, walking in with a screwdriver in her hand.

Realizing that it was no use, Sly went to his room to ponder over what happened. He just couldn't get his mind over what happened.

_"This is some trick isn't it?" Carmelita said, pointing her gun once again at Sly. "There is NO way that you could be alive!"_

Meanwhile…

Carmelita slumped up to her apartment. _'How is this possible? He can't be real. Was it just my imagination?'_ Carmelita plopped down on her couch and pulled out a photo album. She looked at the pictures. She stopped to stare at one picture. Suddenly, she broke into tears. _'What is happening?'_


	3. Confession

**Confession**

Sly woke up. He had another nightmare. He dreamt that he was in an apartment. He heard loud noises and went to investigate. Suddenly, he was knocked to the ground, which was followed by a gunshot and pain. He then found himself being cradled in Carmelita's arms, she was crying.

That was when he woke up. It was strange to him. He got dressed in his normal clothes and turned on the stereo. There was a knock on the door and Bentley wheeled in.

"Sly, I should tell you," Bentley said, he had a shame filled look on his face. "About what happened last night on the rooftop…"

There was a long pause.

"…Everyone in Paris thinks that your dead, the gang set up to fake your death so that the cops would leave us alone for a while. You grew tired of thieving and took a vacation, but when you came back, you fell down a flight of stairs and banged your head. Nobody gave you this selective amnesia."

"It's okay Bentley, though I never would have thought that faking my own death would be my style," Sly said, lying back down on his bed.

'_It isn't' _Bentley thought. "Well, I hope you're fine."

Carmelita certainly wasn't. She had a hard time trying to sleep and had to call in sick. The first time she ever lied her way out of going to work. For about an hour of trying to force herself to stomach her breakfast, she gave up, got in her car, and drove off.

About a half-hour later, Carmelita parked her car and went through the gates of a cemetery. She seemed to know her way around and finally reached a grave marker. The epithet read:

Sly Cooper 

_1980-2006_

'_The way you live may not matter at all,_

_But you never know-it might'_

_Love from Carmelita Montoya Fox_

"If it's not you who's in there," Carmelita muttered to herself. "then who is?"


	4. Messing Around

**Messing Around**

Sly had a weird feeling. He didn't get why he would just fake his death. Wouldn't the cops realize he was alive when they found no body, and more importantly, why would he do that to Carmelita? And yet there was a funny, nervous look on his face, as if he was lying and doing badly at it too.

Another problem, was it possible for him to lose interest in Carmelita? That just can't be. Sure he also flirted with Neyla when she came into the picture, but he didn't lose track of Carmelita. Things just didn't add up.

Less than fifteen minutes later, Murray walked into the kitchen to have a bowl of chili (uh-oh!) when he saw the note on the fridge. He read it, with surprisingly little difficulty.

"BENTLEY! YOU MAY WANT TO SEE THIS!" he yelled.

"What, is there another action replay of one of your crashes?" Bentley said.

Murray showed him the note.

"Oh damn us to hell!" Bentley yelped. "We're done for, no amount of damage control is gonna save us from that train wreck coming in through that front door!"

The note read:

_Got bored, gone to mess with Carmelita,_

_-SLY_

Meanwhile at Interpol, Sly waited for Carmelita to enter her office. He had been waiting not too long when she finally entered.

'_Here's my opportunity to get some answers and to have some fun…'_

But just as he was about to sneak up behind her by sneaking in through one of her opened windows when there was a knock on the door. Peering in Sly could see Chief Barkley and another officer enter Carmelita's office.

"Inspector," Barkley said, he had a grim look on his face. "With your testimony and several others as well as hard evidence that Sly Cooper is still alive and back to his old ways, we took up your advice and had Forensics exhume his body for the real identity."

The other officer then stepped in on the conversation. "The DNA tests matched up to that of his last drug test before he died. In other words, Sly Cooper really was in that coffin. Whoever it was who everyone has been seeing and identifying as Sly Cooper is probably an impersonator."

"What is going on?" Sly whispered to himself. "My body is in forensics? I have to see this."

Managing his way around the building, he managed to Forensics. Entering, he realized he was beside himself. On the table was a perfectly preserved body of him. The two looked exactly alike. Picking up a file laying next to the body, he read:

_Cause of death: gunshot wound to the upper torso, tear in major artery, died of internal bleeding. Shot point blank with revolver, .44 calibers. Injury to back of head suggests a struggle._

"What are you doing here?" a familiar voice said. "Tour not authorized to be here!"

Sly turned around, with a somewhat surprised and sad filled expression. He turned around to see Carmelita, Chief Barkley, and the officer. The three just gasped.

"YOU! WHOEVER YOU ARE, YOUR GOING DOWN!" Carmelita yelled, pulling out her shock pistol.

"I'm not some imposter I can tell you that!" Sly yelled. He gave a grunt as he accidentally cut himself on a scalpel. "Whatever happened to put me in a coffin, I don't know. But why I'm here looking at my own corpse is something I want to know!"

He then jumped out of the window and paraglide away.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOOT HIM?" Barkley screamed.

Carmelita didn't answer. She just stood there in that pose, her face filled with surprise. There was a teardrop coming down her face.

'_How could this happen?'_


	5. Traitors

**Traitors**

"YOU GUYS LIED TO ME!" Sly yelled as he burst through the front door of the hideout and confronted Bentley, who was sitting relaxed in his wheelchair. "I'M NOT THE REAL THING AM I? LET ME GUESS, SOME LOANER WHO LOOKS LIKE COOPER WHO YOU SICKO'S PLUCKED OFF THE STREETS, WIPED MY MEMORY, AND THEN SURGICALLY ALTERED MY BODY SO THAT I'M THE SPITTING IMAGE OF HIM."

"Now," Bentley said.

Suddenly, Murray appeared and pinned Sly to the ground. Penelope then came in with a dart gun and fired it into Sly's neck.

"Sorry Sly, but it is for your own good," Bentley muttered.

Sly then lay there motionless, with the exception that he was still breathing.

"I think it's time Sly knows the truth, and maybe Inspector Fox ought to know too," Bentley said.

Carmelita sat in her office. She stared motionless into space. Looking at the wall, looking beyond the wall, never seeing the wall. The only thing that snapped her out of her trance was not the supply cart collision outside her office that resulted in a night of a thousand cuss words but the phone ringing two feet from her.

"Inspector Fox of Interpol," a nasally voice said.

"Yeah?"

"We have the answers that you seek regarding a one raccoon."

"What? Who is this?"

"Meet me in the alley behind 123 Fake Street, and come alone." The line went dead.

Carmelita looked at the receiver and then at the Cooper calling card she had from when Sly broke into her office. Her face going into a serious and angered look, she grabbed her shock pistol and her car keys.

"Chief?" said the officer.

"Yeah, what is it Tanner?"

"Well, Forensics did some tests on a blood sample that the supposed Sly Cooper left on a scalpel and…"

"Who is it then? Tanner? ANSWER ME!"

"The DNA is the same."

Carmelita arrived at 123 Fake Street. She warily moved around making sure that there were no unexpected surprises that would go against her health.

"Inspector Fox," said that it nasally voice.

Surprised, she turned around to see Bentley. "YOU!"

"It's time you knew," Bentley said.

Suddenly, a dart struck Carmelita in the side of her neck. A few minutes later, she was out like a light.


	6. True Confession

**True Confessions**

Sly woke up to realize that he bound to a chair.

'Those bastards! How could they? Of course I'm sure they would seeing how I'm not the real Sly Cooper.'

"YOU!"

Sly looked up in surprise. Right across from him, bound in another chair, was Carmelita.

"Hello Carm," Sly said in a depressed voice.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL I AM, I DON'T KNOW THE HELL ABOUT ANYTHING ABOUT ME, ALL I KNOW IS THAT I'M A PAWN IN THESE TWISTED PEOPLE'S SCHEMES!"

"HEY!" yelled Murray, entering the room. "We're not twisted, we're your friends."

"Sorry for having you two bound like this, but it is for our safety, seeing how Sly was about to kick my ass to China and back. And it's pretty much the same towards you inspector," Bentley said.

"Well, well, well," Carmelita sighed. "Sly Cooper would actually beat up one of his friends?"

"They're not my friends, I'm not Sly Cooper, it dawned on me when I saw his corpse myself!"

"Both of you be QUITE!" Penelope yelled.

"Alright!" Carmelita said. "Just one question…"

"…WHO THE HELL AM I?" Sly yelled.

"Will you give us a chance to explain first!" Bentley yelled.

"Get on with it Bent," Murray said.

"Alright," Bentley began. "Less than a year ago, the Cooper Gang pulled off the heist of the century. We had discovered the whereabouts of the Cooper Vault, an elaborate ancient system of caves that held practically everything of utmost value in the world that was ever stolen by the Cooper family line, starting with ancient Egypt's notorious Slytenkahmen. But in order for us to have made into the vault, we recruited a number of people, starting with Murray, who had left the team after I was crippled. We took down mob boss Don Octavio to get him back. After that, we went to Australia to recruit Murray's teacher, the Guru. He joined us when we helped clear out corrupt miners and took down the Mask of Dark Earth, which had coincidentally possessed Carmelita. I'm not going to tell how we got the damn thing off her though…"

"Sly climbed up her bootlaces…" Murray mentioned.

"WHAT!" Carmelita was shocked.

"ANYWAY," Bentley continued, giving Murray the evil eye. "We then had to win a dog fighting competition in Holland to get Penelope on the team. After that, we went to China to recruit Panda King, who in Sly's past had helped kill his father. Anyway, Panda King was a changed man and we helped him rescue his daughter, Jing King, from a shotgun wedding from hell. Then we also owed Dimitri a favor, and we ended up in a war against a pirate named Lefwee, who in the end was turned into shark bait by Penelope."

"So when does my true identity come in?" Sly asked.

"I'm getting to that!" Bentley snapped. "In the end, Sly was seriously injured by a crazy genetics expert by the name of Dr. M. He was injured saving Carmelita. In return for hurting him, Carmelita busted M's simian ass and took you in as her partner, seeing how you got amnesia. For the past year or so, you had been living life as a cop, as well as Carmelita's boyfriend."

Sly could see Carmelita blushing.

"Then one day, she messed with the wrong criminal and he put a hit on her," Bentley continued. "The assassin ended up killing you instead. He knocked you to the floor and shot you at point blank with a revolver. You died in Carmelita's apartment. You died in her arms."

Something clicked in Sly's mind. The dream. It was of Sly Cooper's death! He could see in the corner of his eye that Carmelita was tearing. He watched as tears streaked down her face.

"You've been dead for over a month," Murray said.

"That's when your real identity comes in," Bentley said. "Doctor M had bee a genetics expert, and much of his lab was surprisingly untouched by the battle that occurred there on that island. Using a sample of DNA, and using some of the late Dr. M's notes, we managed to improve his formulas and created the first successful full person cloning. That is you."

"Holy shit," Sly said. His eyes were wide open.

"We even had a backup memory for you, but we wanted you to be with the gang again and we took away all of your memory that came after the battle on the island. We still kept the memories. They're on my laptop for just in case out plan eventually backfired. We know now though, that we can't keep this a secret from you or Carmelita. Sly, your actually you, in flesh and blood, and in spirit, it's just that you've spent a brief period of absence in the presence of whoever it is upstairs."

There was silence as Sly and Carmelita stared blankly at them. Murray then went over to Sly and untied him. He did the same with Carmelita.

"Sly, it's time you have your memories back," Bentley said. He handed Sly his laptop. "I'll let you two figure things out."

And everyone left, leaving Sly and Carmelita alone with the laptop. Without saying anything, the two began working on the laptop.


	7. Setting Things Straight

A/N: I really hated the original ending, which had some loose ends and some plot holes in it. Plus, I, as well as others, don't like the idea of Sly being dead and his clone taking his place. So I have redone the ending in the original version before I decided to half-ass things. –_NS

* * *

_

**Setting Things Straight**

Sly entered Bentley and Penelope's lab.

"Bentley," Sly asked. "Have you completed your time machine yet?"

Bentley began stuttering, as if he had an answer that he couldn't say.

"Of course he did," Penelope said. "Didn't he tell you? He finished it two weeks ago."

"Bentley?" Sly said, in a serious, 'what did you do?' voice. "You could've saved me!"

"Sorry Sly," Bentley said. "The reason I didn't bother to tell anyone is because none of us can go back in time to when we were alive, so that means we can only go back in time to before we were born and into the future to after when we pass away."

Suddenly, Sly perked up. To other people, this would be considered bad news. _'I smell a loop hole!'_

"Bentley, you can't, but I can!" Sly jumped up.

"No you can't!" Bentley said. "Your alive!"

"Yeah, but I'm NOT the Sly Cooper; technically, I was born when you cloned me!"

Bentley's frown turned upside down. There was a gleam in his eyes.

"That mean's that you can stop yourself from dying, and nobody would have any memory of this because then you never died! But then…" he face gave a half frown, "…then that means you, I mean the present you, won't exist."

"Technically Bent, I'll still exist, just not as a clone. Just get me to the night I died."

Bentley motioned Sly into the time machine.

"I'll give you about fifteen minutes before the event, around the time the assassin reached your apartment, and I'll even send you to outside the complex to give a Cooper face crunching welcome! Ready?"

"Ready! Now beam me up Scottie!" Sly said. "See ya!"

"See ya!" Penelope waved.

Suddenly in a flash of blue lightning, Sly disappeared.

Sly found himself on a dark Parisian night. He was on a rooftop, facing across the ravine that was bottomed with a street towards the apartment complex. It was Carmelita's apartment. Looking around, he could see a wolf in all black, almost ninja like, climbing up the drainpipe to the balcony. Sly, cane in hand, hooked his cane on a wire that stretched to the apartment and slid along it. He quickly caught up on the assassin on the balcony as he tried to force the lock to the door.

Sly was awoken by the sound of a struggle outside.

"What the?" he said. "Carmelita? Wake up!"

"What is it?" she said in a drowsy state.

"I think something's going on outside," he replied. "I'm gonna check it out."

"I'm sure it's nothing, now come back to bed," but Sly was already in the hall to the living room.

As he entered the living room, he was jumped. He was thrown to the ground. As he looked up, he was staring down the barrel of a gun. But just before the assassin could fire, he was suddenly hit in the side of the head with a flying wine bottle. The assassin fell to the ground, knocked unconscious. Sly on the other was fortunate to catch the still intact wine bottle that bounced off of the assassin's head. He got up and looked for whoever threw the bottle.

"What's going on?" Carmelita yelled out in concern.

"Everything's alright! Just some burglar," replied a mysterious but familiar voice.

Sly turned his head in the direction of the voice, to see coming out of the shadows was himself!

"Who are you?" Sly said, making sure that Carmelita didn't hear.

"I'm you, well I'm sort of you," the stranger said. "I'm you by DNA and personality, but not by heart. It's just that now that you're not dead, I have no purpose to be in this world, except to be the real Sly Cooper."

"SLY?" Carmelita said.

The stranger looked in the direction of the bedroom and then back towards Sly.

"Don't blow it with her," he said with a smile.

Suddenly, the stranger began to fade, becoming transparent, until he completely disappeared.

"Sly? What the hell happened!" Carmelita said, entering the room in a robe.

"I don't know, but at least his skull didn't bust the bottle we were saving," Sly said, as he handcuffed the unconscious assassin.

'_Oh, I'll be sure to do my best not to blow it with her!'_

What happens afterwards is for another time, another story. So there you go. You've read the REAL ending. It's happy, though yet a little sad, so go ahead, get off your computer, and go outside, because this is:

**THE END!**


End file.
